Life of the Party

Yeah. I  used to be the life of the party. Even when there was no party I’d make one happen, but one night I took the party too far. My boyfriend of TWO YEARS dumped me so me and my best friend went out. I was devastated but there were people and a party and man alive was I gonna have fun! Yeah, we took some shots… some more than others… I got a little drunk. Okay, more than a little drunk. These guys wanted to race… they noticed my mustang, Cherry and complimented my ride. My best friend  Lily told me. She told me over and over it wasn’t a good idea. I just brushed her off and got in the car. “You’re gonna get yourself killed!” now that sent shivers up my spine. I could feel the tears in my eyes threatening to fall. Remembering him. Remembering everything we had. Those two whole years, and he throws it all away…? Then she was there. Lily. She cared for me, she was like… my sister. But all I said was “I don’t care.” And I left. She just followed me got in the car with me. She wouldn’t let me go alone. She wouldn’t let me be alone. She knew how I was when I was alone. By the time we’d gotten in the guys had pulled up to the side of our car. They shot me a daring look and I gave them one back. They yelled out “Ready… go!” and we were off. I was having the time of my life but she was holding on for dear life. She kept telling me to slow down! Slow down. Slow down… I still hear her voice echoing in my head. But at that point I didn’t care. I didn’t listen. A deer ran out onto the road and I slammed on the breaks, skidding the road to try and stop the car. I severed and that’s when I realized we were up on the hill because I hit this giant rock and the car flipped. We tumbled down the hill, car and all. I blacked out, and when I woke up… we were still in the car. I looked over at Lily. Her body was so lifeless, and she wouldn’t move. There was some blood leaking from her head. I thought she was asleep, kind of like how I’d been knocked out. I shook her body, it was limp and flimsy. 

“Wake up,” I told her, “it’s okay now. We’re fine.” Still, nothing. “Lily!” I yelled. She still wouldn’t budge. I just kept yelling at her shaking her harder and harder. Then I stopped to look at her. There wasn’t a single bob in her stomach. Not a flinch in her body. Her face was pail and her eyes stayed shut. She looked peaceful, like she had fallen to rest. But she wasn’t resting, Lily was dead.  She was dead... and it was all my fault.

Even after that I tried to be the life of the party, but boy do I really have to try! I make people laugh… I even make myself laugh. Oh, I worked good and hard to make myself laugh. You can hear me from a block away! “Isn’t she somethin’?” people would say, “always happy, always laughing. Look at her! Always with that smile.” Heck, even I thought I was happy, but only as long as I wasn’t alone. I can’t even tell you how much I hated that… being alone… I always have and always will. Yeah, I have- I mean had friends. Not everyone wanted to sign on though… sometimes I’d see a frown, or maybe a… disgusted look. One time I heard someone… “Damn I wish that chick would just shut up. Such an attention whore! Heck she even got her friend killed.” But I mean, who cares what they think right? I mean come on! You’ve got the whole crowd! Party poopers… that’s all they are. They can’t keep me from my happy state. They can’t tear down my walls I’ve just gotta keep going!

But… that wore me out sometimes, you know? Working like that, keeping the motor running, the horn honking, all that smoke pouring out. Sometimes I just wanted to come to rest… you know? Just stop… kind of like a shark. Oh wait. That’s right! Sharks don’t stop. They can’t or they’ll die. So I guess I’m like a shark huh? Well… today I made a mistake… I stayed alone. Sitting alone I decided that I should just do what I’ve been wanting to. Rest. So… I took some pills. A lot of pills. My stomach’s really starting to hurt, but you know what? Now I feel great. I just might be able to see her again… up there.  Now before any of you judge me more than I know you already have. Before any of you call me selfish, an attention whore again… Before you, my so called “friends” talk behind my back… I want you to know how I feel. ‘Cause I mean, what would you do… if you killed your best friend?